Sunday, September 8, 2013

Modern Wife - Happy Life or is it a farce?

I am more than blessed to be married to the love of my life, my very best friend, the only man I have ever known.  We started dating when I was just 16, he was 17...dated for 6 years and have now been married almost 15.  December 12, 1998...the day that I said forever to Jonathan Ray Black.

I have experienced so many friends and family members whose happily ever afters imploded. Disintegrated from happiness to misery before their very eyes.  Eyes full of love for another became eyes filled with disgust, despair, sadness and sometimes hate.  Years of building up a relationship can be lost in a moment of selfishness.  Yet sometimes that downward spiral is slow...a breakdown of expectations that were set to high and mindsets that will not yield to compromise or change.

I would challenge you to evaluate your relationship with your husband or wife.  Are you expecting too much?  Are they?  Are you communicating your hurt, your fears and your regrets in a way that brings about positive change or are you just yelling and screaming without listening to one another?  If you feel you are on the way out, do you love that person enough to want to stay in?  Commit yourselves before the Lord to begin by really listening to each others heart and being willing to admit faults in your own. Commit yourselves again to those vows you spoke on your wedding day...for better or worse, till death do us part.  That was a sacred vow spoken before an Almighty God.  That is not something to be taken lightly.

Wives, if this poem resonates with you, please pray...bend your knees and pray.  Not just that your husband would change...pray for change in yourself.  What do you need to do differently to be the wife he needs you to be?  What do you need to do differently to be the woman God made you to be?  I firmly believe when you truly relinquish yourself to your Creator, you will be loosed from the chains that bind you.

Lord thank you that I have a godly man who is always looking for ways to love me and to be a blessing to others.  May it always be so.

This poem is for those of you who are hurting, who are torn between commitment and fleeing the scene of the crime.  May your marriages be blessed through re-commitment to the only one who can heal it...God.

Modern Wife
I do the laundry, I clean, I cook
Yet all I get sometimes are dirty looks
Don't ask for much yet told I'm a nag,
Treated like I'm ugly as a hag.

No kisses given, just a token lip touch,
No tenderness or affection that I crave so much.
Would be so easy to just hold hands,
Sometimes I feel I don't know this man.

I may not be all he envisioned or dreamed
But am I really as awful as he makes it seem?
I don't feel pretty anymore, not even cute,
To bring any of this to his attention would be moot.

I've never claimed to be perfect, yet neither is he
I love him and just wish he'd open his eyes to see
The pain and hurt I feel isn't pretend,
No longer my lover or confidant, barely my friend.

We live in this house together, but apart
Closely confined in space, far apart in heart.
Will it ever change or is this what marriage is to be?
I only desired to be loved, to be accepted for me.

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